Nursery says she took 40 ml ALL DAY and now she's on me every hour all night. Is this reverse cycling and does it end?

Week two of nursery, she's 8 months, I'm back four days a week. I send three bottles of 120 ml, expressed at work the day before. Day one they said she "wasn't interested", day two she took about 60 ml total, today the key worker handed me back the bag and said 40 ml. FORTY. Across nine hours. She's had a bit of porridge and some banana and that's it.

And then from the second we get home she wants to feed. Feed at pickup in the car park, feed at 6, feed at bedtime, then up at 11, 1, 2:30, 4, 5:30. I'm typing this at 11pm having just put her down for the second time. I had got her down to one night feed before I went back and now she's basically feeding all night like a newborn.

Someone at work said this is called reverse cycling and it's "a thing" but nobody could tell me if it's ok or if she's basically starving all day and I'm supposed to be doing something about it. Also my pumping output at work has gone from 150 to about 100 ml a session already which is freaking me out. Is she getting enough? Do I need to send more milk? Does this stop??

Yes it's a thing, yes it ends, and honestly the version you have is the mild one. Mine went full nine hours on 20 ml for the first fortnight and I thought nursery were lying to me.

She's not starving. She's shifted her intake to the hours you're there because she prefers you to the bottle, which is annoying but also sort of lovely. Mine started taking bottles properly at about week three, once she'd worked out I wasn't coming back at lunch. The nights got better a week or so after that. Sorry, that's a month, but it's a month.

Ask nursery HOW they're offering. Ours were holding him flat on his back and tipping the bottle in and he screamed, and once they sat him up with the bottle horizontal and let him pause, he drank. Also they'd only try when he was already crying with hunger. Offering earlier, when he was calm, was the whole fix. Took two conversations but it worked.

Lauren, reverse cycling is exactly the right name for this, and the direct answer is that it is common, it is generally a temporary adjustment rather than a problem, and an 8 month old who is feeding freely at the breast morning, evening, and overnight is usually getting what she needs across the 24 hours even when the daytime numbers look alarming. The gauges that count are the same ones as always: plenty of heavy wet nappies, her usual stools, and her weight staying on her own curve. If those hold, the clock is not the measure. If nappies drop off, or she is unusually flat or sleepy, that becomes a conversation with your health visitor or doctor rather than a forum, and I would not wait on it.

What is happening underneath: a baby who dislikes the bottle, or the setting, or simply prefers you, will often take the minimum in the day and then make up the full intake in the hours you are available, and the night becomes the main meal. Babies are very good at this. It typically settles in a few weeks as she accepts the bottle and the routine, usually 2 to 4 weeks, though some babies keep a version of it for as long as they are in childcare. Hollie's point about how the bottle is offered is where I would start: a sitting position, the bottle held horizontal so she works for the flow, pauses to let her stop and start, and offering when she is calm rather than frantic. The guide to bottle feeding a breastfed baby describes paced feeding in detail, and it is worth asking nursery to read it. At 8 months, a cup or open beaker in the day is also a perfectly good alternative to a bottle for a baby who has decided bottles are not for her.

On your pumping numbers: a fall from 150 to 100 ml a session in the first fortnight back is a very ordinary pattern and does not mean your supply is falling by a third. Pump output responds to stress, to a rushed session, to a different room, and to a baby who has moved her demand to the night, where she is taking more directly. Supply follows demand across the whole day, and she is providing plenty of demand. Keep the work sessions going at roughly the intervals she would have fed, because they protect daytime production, but judge supply by her nappies and weight and by the trend across weeks, not by one week's bottles.

Two practical points and one boundary. First, do not add more milk to the bag in response to the 40 ml; she is not taking what you send now, and a freezer full of untouched bottles is demoralising and wasteful. Second, the nights are a genuine cost to you, and feeding safely when you are this tired matters: the piece on night feeds and breastfeeding has the safe sleep section that I would ask you to read tonight rather than later. The boundary is the one I give everyone: your baby's weight and intake are for the professionals who can see her, and if anything about her worries you, a face to face check beats any reassurance here, mine included.

Adding the thing nobody told me: reverse cycling babies sleep a lot at nursery to make up for the nights, so nursery will cheerfully tell you she "had a lovely day", and you'll be the one who looks like something dug up. It evens out. Mine both did it, both stopped by about a month in.

Two and a half weeks on. Had the conversation with nursery, sent them the paced feeding page, and they've switched to offering a cup at snack time and the bottle sitting up before she's upset. She's taking 150 to 200 ml across the day now, sometimes more. Nights are down to two feeds, not one yet but I'll take it. Pumping back up to about 120 ml a session, which I've decided not to care about since her weight was fine at the clinic on Tuesday.

Still feeds like she's been starved when I pick her up though. I think that one's just for me.