We finished weaning last week. It was my decision, it was gradual, it went smoothly, she took to cups and bottles without a fuss and honestly seems completely unbothered.
I, on the other hand, am a mess. I cried folding her sleepsuits. I cried when my milk-stained feeding pillow went in the wash for the last time. Tonight my husband found me crying because she fell asleep on him without looking for me first, which was the entire point of him doing bedtime, which I ASKED him to do.
I wanted this. I was ready. So why do I feel like I've lost something? Nobody warned me stopping would feel bigger than starting. Is this normal or should I be worried about myself?
Normal, normal, a hundred times normal. I've weaned twice, at 8 months with my first and 14 months with my second, and both times I was ambushed by about a fortnight of feeling weepy and strange and weirdly bereft, even though both times I was READY and one of those times I was practically counting down the days.
Second time round I knew two things that helped. One, some of it is chemical, the feeding hormones drop away when you stop and your mood genuinely dips with them, it's not just sentiment. Two, it passes. Week three both times I woke up feeling like myself again, and what was left was the nice part, the pride, without the crying at laundry part.
Buy yourself flowers, you finished something enormous.
Not just you. Thirteen months here and I still got teary when I realised the last ever feed had already happened and I hadn't known it at the time, nobody tells you there's a last one and you usually don't get to notice it. The sleepsuit folding got me too. It fades into something sweeter, promise.
Priya, what you are feeling has a physiological basis, and Gemma has described it exactly right. As feeds stop, prolactin and oxytocin, the hormones that ran your milk supply and did some pleasant things for your mood along the way, fall away, and a spell of low mood, tearfulness, or a strange flatness in the weeks around weaning is one of the most commonly reported and least talked about experiences in all of breastfeeding. Wanting to stop and grieving the stopping sit together perfectly comfortably; one does not cancel the other. The site's piece on the emotional side of breastfeeding has a section on exactly this, and the guide to stopping breastfeeding covers the physical side, keep an eye out for any firm tender patches while your body finishes adjusting.
The boundary I always give with this: the weaning dip should be a spell, not a season. If the low mood deepens rather than lifts over the next few weeks, or stops you functioning or enjoying anything at all, please take it to your own doctor rather than waiting it out. That is not a forum judgement anyone here can make for you, me included.
And for what it's worth: nine months of feeding through all the stages that involves is a genuinely substantial thing to have done. The tears are proportionate to it.
This thread closed automatically after 60 days without a new reply. Babies change fast, so for anything current, especially weight, illness, or medication questions, talk to your own midwife, lactation consultant, or doctor rather than an old thread.
